Blogging ACE
Wednesday, 6 August, 2008
When it comes to openness and transparency Arts Council England (ACE) bears more than a passing resemblance to a very large brick wall. That is to say, they are the very antithesis of being transparent. If you're still reading after that most tortured of metaphors then we shall proffer a simple apology and continue.
With the previous paragraph in mind it was surprising to stumble across the blog of ACE North East's CEO Mark Robinson.
Now before you get too excited and head over there looking for exposé's on ACE's missteps, eviscerations of Peter Hewitt (do a search on here if you don't know who he is) and other juicy details on the funding monolith, don't bother, you'll find non of that.
Mr Robinson does say, in the blog description that; "[he hopes] to show that people who work for the Arts Council, even Exec Directors, are not faceless, robotic bureaucrats - but maybe I am one and just don't realise it yet. As well as working for the Arts Council I am a widely-published poet and critic."
To prove he does in fact have a face there is a picture of him, looking suitably poetic and sepia toned, at the top left of the page.
Despite the lack of any obvious outspoken opinion it is refreshing to see a minion of the dark side, as we jovially like to call people who work for ACE, expressing some personal views that haven't gone through the PR filter before being unleashed upon the great unwashed.
We'll keep an eye on the blog but any more recommendations to watch a music video of the 'Lovin' Spoonful' (1960's music combo) will result in swift retribution!
Money For Nothing (Tickets for Free)
Tuesday, 29 July, 2008
Do you have some spare time on your hands? Do you want to earn £40,000 per year for just 2 days work per week? Do you have a knighthood and a pin stripe suit? Have you given up actually working for a living and feel like coasting towards retirement? Then Arts Council England is looking for you because they need a new Chairman.
That's right dear readers the funding monolith is seeking a new figure head to er............... do whatever the hell it is that the Chairman of ACE actually does. If we were to hazard a guess it probably involves attending a few meetings, parties and going to the theatre a lot. The going to the theatre part is great because all your tickets are free, let's face it, you're the boss so who's going to deny you?
Except your not the boss of course, that's the CEO, but it's £40,000 for not a lot of work so what are you complaining about?
Current chairman, "Sir" Christopher Frayling has apparently gotten bored and is off to write more books about westerns or play shuffle board or something. He leaves his post having presided over, along with former CEO Peter Hewitt, the debacle of the recent funding review that saw more than 180 arts orgnisations lose their funding and arts funding in general get slapped silly by the Olympics.
Mr Hewitt sneaked out the back door with a £128,000 pay off and hasn't been heard from since. Mr Frayling will probably not get a payoff since nobody knows who he is anyway. Show off hands if you please if you could name the Chairman of ACE before reading this piece?
As we thought, only Smarty McClever at the back had any clue.
The job advert states that ACE are looking for an "...outstanding and committed individual with the credibility, enthusiasm and motivation to lead Arts Council England over the next few years."
They need someone with credibility because ACE has very little and they're hoping that it will rub off on them, like the flu or malaria!
We suspect that the post has already been filled, the job advert is probably for show, but if you want to give it a shot then hit the link below and fill out the form. Having some form of royal honour probably helps a lot, it also helps if, to all intents and purposes, you are completely inert!
In a statement, ACE denied being completely useless, or words to that effect.
On Bended Knee
Tuesday, 29 July, 2008
When it comes to pandering and sucking up nobody does it like the PR folks at Convent Garden's Royal Opera House. When they want to kiss some ass they go all in, charging at the wall full tilt until all you have left is an ROH PR person shaped hole in the wall.
ROH, home of the Royal Ballet and The Royal Opera, both publicly financed, have struck a deal with the tabloid newspaper The Sun to sell all 2,200 tickets for the opening night, in September, of Don Giovani to the paper's readers.
The Sun, like many tabloids, is not a big fan of the arts, the paper doesn't have an arts page or an arts editor, and it's really not a big fan of the arts when that art is paid for with tax payers money. Given a choice between going to the opera and going to hell most Sun readers might, just might, choose the latter.
For a bit of context; today's headlines in The Sun are, predictably, hysterical in nature and include words like "Rage", "Executed", "Lambaarrrghini" (don't ask) and "Cactus abducts pregnant girl" (you really don't want to know). Safe to say that your average Sun reader has little interest in news, the arts, or facts and accurate reporting.
What The Sun does have though is readers and lots off them. Three million people, apparently, buy the paper every day for reasons past understanding (there's a whole book in the psychology behind that we feel sure) and the ROH wants to give exclusive access to its opening night to these folks and these folks alone.
Ticket prices will of course be cut dramatically from £195 for the best seats to about £30. Ironically, Tony Hall, the chief executive of ROH, told the Guardian newspaper that the ticket deal was being done because the average Sun reader "...may not have thought that the Royal Opera House was for them, or [they] felt it was too expensive".
Mr Hall, if you are charging £195 for a ticket then yes, it is too bloody expensive and not just for people who choose, of their own free will, to read tabloid newspapers, but we digress.
You may be wondering what the point of this exercise is? The ROH will tell you that it's all about encouraging the great unwashed to come through the doors. That opera is for everybody, the Royal Opera House itself is for everybody, so come on in and mind the carpets while you're at it!
This is, of course, complete nonsense. The ROH couldn't care less who comes through the front door just as long as somebody comes through the front door and buys one of their very expensive tickets.
PR exercises like The Sun promotional idea are about justifying the massive amount funding given the to ROH every year by Arts Council England, over £24million at the last count. It looks good on an evaluation report when you can say that two thousand or more common folk took the opportunity to come and see 'Don Giovani'. Keeping the politicians, who run the Department for Culture Media and Sport, happy is what this is all about because they need to keep their constituents happy.
It looks even better when you can say that a couple of hundred thousand common folk entered the draw just to be in with a chance of buying the tickets and enjoying a night of culture. These people want it, they love it, and we gave them the chance to experience it, even if it was only the one time because we have to put the ticket prices back up again.
Then the ROH can put out its press releases celebrating their magnanimous behaviour and opining that they have "touched the people" and all is well in the world.
Of course what nobody seems to have thought of is the ranks of regular ROH theater goers buying copies of The Sun so they can enter the draw themselves and score some cheap tickets because they are actually a little bit sick and tired of the sky high prices. Perhaps there will be some kind of tabloid loyalty test involving questions about Britney Spears, football players and "cacti people"?
Whatever way you look at this "promotion" the same conclusion will always be reached. This is pandering of the highest caliber.
Devoid of any workable strategy to encourage people to enjoy live music, become more informed, more cultured, more open to new ideas (which surely begins with the education of very young children) the ROH reaches out to the most vapid, incompetent and idiotic medium of news dissemination in the country.
Instead of unreservedly telling The Sun and its throng of, for want of a better word, readers to go shove their ill-informed opinions where the sun don't shine (no pun intended) they touch the forelock, they capitulate, they pander!
Let's make one thing clear. Here in TheLab™, we thoroughly dislike the ROH's artistic stagnation and the amount of money they spend on the unimaginative drivel they produce year in year out. But, we will defend to the last their right to be artistically useless, whomever pays for it, and it is our money they're spending too!
Political Jab
Tuesday, 22 July, 2008
US politics continues to deliver the very best in political satire with the latest cartoon from the Jib Jab crew who became famous back in 2004 with their 'This Land' video.
Taking it, lightheartedly, in the neck this time around are John McCain and Barack Obama, both presumptive nominees for their respective parties.
Bob Dylan takes a bow with his song 'The Times They Are A-Changin' which has been cunningly reworked into 'Time for Some Campaignin' (the D has been left off on purpose so the spelling police can take it easy for a while).
Politics can be a bit dry sometimes, especially the European kind, so this type of stuff from our American contemporaries is a shot in the arm, especially during what are, depending on your point of view, historic times in US politics.
What has this got to do with dance? Nothing, but you know what, some things don't have anything to do with dance at all!! You can watch the rest of their creation on the Jib Jab website, link below the video.
Firing for Effect
Thursday, 17 July, 2008
Arts Council England (ACE) in their latest attempt to convince everybody that they are not racist and they "get" people that have a skin colour other than white have done what any self respecting organisation does in this day and age, they have launched a website!
Now let's get one thing clear straight way. If you think ACE is racist or biased in any way (with regards to race) then we're pretty sure, here in TheLab™ that you're wrong. If nothing else, being institutionally racist would require a level of organisational coherence that the funding behemoth has failed to demonstrate even once in the last 60 years. So let's move on.
Titled 'Sustained Theatre' (whatever that means) the site lists its aims as follows;
"Sustained Theatre is a network and a call to action for all artists to lobby for positive change. This is the first time we, as artists, have had a real opportunity to take centre stage and have a voice in transforming the future of our national theatre.We want to keep issues relating to Black, Asian, and minority ethnic theatre artists and practitioners alive and in the national debate. To do this, we need you. We want your voices, presenting us with new challenges in order to permanently establish our collective aspirations and standing in the arts.
We need you to become part of the process, engage with us through this website - make your position heard to make a positive difference. Network and connect, research and debate: this website is just the first stage of a long-term strategy."
It's curious that ACE has written the statement in the first person with the phrase "we, as artists". The domain name for the site is owned by ACE and the site is run, presumably by ACE. Who has overall control is not at all clear. There are published articles by various people but who chose them? Who edited them? Who cleared them for publication? Was it artists, was it ACE, was it us? (now that would be spooky! Ed!)
According to the about page this is also the first time "the people" have had the opportunity to voice their concerns or opinions on the great "cultural diversity" debate. Even if we only take that comment in its loosest possible terms it would appear that ACE has been deaf to the comments, opinions and complaints of the masses ever since its inception.
Also, ACE has just ended the great arts debate or "Public Value Enquiry". Are they trying to tell us they weren't listening then? Did they spend not very much money at all just doing something for the effect rather than achieving a tangible outcome? Would we, as a whole, be shocked to find out that might be the case?
At the core of this website, and its vague goals, it's the same tired mantra of achieving or recognising "cultural diversity". Even though nobody seems able to explain exactly what that it is or how to go about it.
In an interview with Article19 Shobana Jeyasingh said;
"I'm a choreographer because I'm interested in dance, I'm not particularly interested in South Asian dance. I think in some ways that the cultural agenda becomes overblown and actually it stops people appreciating what you are trying to make them see which is actually dance making."
One of the top dance makers in Europe is basically asking ACE and the suits in London to knock it off with this nonsense. If a black artist wants to work with a white artist or a Chinese artist or any other kind of artist then they should do it for the right reasons (like mutual interests, complimentary talents, etc), not because ACE is running a social engineering experiment.
If cultural connections are not made for genuine reasons then it's all a facade, it's fake, it's firing for effect.
Update: ACE told us; "The name of the Sustained Theatre website editor is Neesh Iqbal. Neesh has been contracted by the Sustained Theatre Artists Leadership Team (STALT), who are Garfield Allen, Tyrone Huggins, Deborah Williams, Kully Thiarai and Jonathan Man."
Overload
Wednesday, 2 July, 2008
One of TheLab's™ digital stills cameras, when equipped with a 4 Gigabyte memory card, will shoot, almost continuously, 860 high resolution photographs. A project that we are currently covering has already amassed almost 2,000 usable images (meaning they are well exposed and the subject is sharp and in focus).
In our current video archive we have 320 digital video tapes containing more than 500 hours of dance material. Over the years we have shot more than 1,500 hours of video material and tens of thousands of photographs.
During that time we have become fairly adept at archiving, storing, sorting and retrieving this information as required. Mistakes do happen though and equipment fails and sometimes things are lost, for ever! For the most part though we do keep things safe.
The dance profession, and we're generalising here, can only be in a state of complete confusion then when it comes to trying to handle the sheer volume of audio/visual media coming their way from people like us.
Back in the day, when print images ruled and there was no video to speak of, things were slow. Asking a dance company for some images involved waiting a very long time, using an archaic piece of technology called a scanner and wrestling with the nightmare that is "a photocopier".
It would appear that, in some quarters, little has changed (too many dance agencies still have photocopiers for example) and dance organisations and companies are either unwilling or unable to cope with modern day media deadlines or promotional techniques.
Despite a slew of online and offline tools, many of which are free, for storing and sharing a wide range of media there is little evidence that any of them are being used. Some organisations/companies are trying but they're not trying hard enough!
There is a fundamental lack of knowledge and understanding of digital images and video, how they work, how they can be distributed and the suitable formats for any given platform. For example, images for print need to be higher resolution than images for the web and video shot on a cell phone is no good for broadcast use. You would be amazed at just how people don't know those kind of fundamentals.
Printed brochures have limited amounts of space and larger brochures cost more money, thereby limiting the photographic potential. But websites have no such constraints so full-on photo stories and video segments have become the norm for media outlets large and small.
It's simple if you know how of course and knowledge comes from training but how much longer is it going to take for that training to happen and how further behind will the profession fall in the meantime?
Investment in equipment and storage is also needed. Massive storage capacity has never been cheaper, it would appear that hard drives are immune from global economic problems. A 1 Terabyte drive, enough storage space for dozens of hours of broadcast quality video and tens of thousands of images, can be had for less than £200.
High powered desktop computers capable of handling this media are less than £800 and come with everything you need.
Yet, the BBC reports today that IT managers, in some cases, are restricting their employees E-mail accounts to a paltry 100Mb. We've seen this type of madness in action at a dance organisation at it drives the employees crazy, they simply don't have the storage space to work with to get their jobs done.
We recently purchased a USB "thumb drive" for £15 with 8 Gigabytes of storage capacity (that's eighty times larger than 100Mb). There is simply is no technological or financial need for such restrictive practices.
What we would suggest, here in TheLab™, is an all out blitz on technology training and equipment investment throughout the dance profession. We don't care if you prefer Mac or PC, Canon or Nikon, online or offline, just get the best tools for the job, learn how to use them and let's get on with it!
We will be very displeased with the next person that asks us to "e-mail" them a DVD!
Ballet Umbrage
Wednesday, 2 July, 2008
The world of classical ballet, at least the very small part of that world in London, is having a bit of a flap , to say nothing of the journalists having a field day with the headline writing, about Ross Stretton and his recently released interview containing details of his time at The Royal Ballet.
In case you're not up to speed let us fill you in. Ross Stretton, an Australian, was briefly the director of The Royal Ballet about 6 years ago. He was forced out under a cloud following disappointing reviews of newly introduced work, unproven allegations concerning misconduct with young female dancers and allegedly falling foul of the high and mighty types at Covent Garden.
Mr Stretton died, from cancer related issues, in 2005. He gave an interview to the National Library of Australia in 2003 with the caveat that it not be released until 40-50 years after his death. Knowing the end was near, due to his illness, he revised those instructions to three years after his death.
You can read a more detailed analysis of the interview at the link below, from the Sydney Morning Herald. Suffice to say that what Mr Stretton said about the Royal Ballet and its inner workings was less than complimentary and the broadsheet hacks have gotten their knives out.
Judith Mackrell in particular, who's id image on her Guardian Blog looks more and more like Delores Umbridge from the Harry Potter Books every day, has a good old time kicking a dead man when he's down.
Ms Mackrell gets started with this delightful comment;
"In the interview, Stretton protests his innocence over the issue of sexually abusive behaviour that was said to have precipitated his exit. At the time this behaviour was neither publicly proved nor disproved, although the fact that other rumours came to light of similar behaviour when Stretton was at American Ballet Theatre suggests this talk wasn't just fabricated by disaffected British journalists."
Were this a political story Ms Mackrell would be accused of a "Rovian Attack", referring to Karl Rove, the one time advisor to George W. Bush. Somebody should tell this particular writer that simply because rumors are repeated it doesn't make them any more true. Loading it with the vague "sexually abusive behavior" gets the readers salivating for more salacious details which never come, simply because there are none.
The comment; "was neither publicly proved nor disproved" is particularly nasty in its overtones. Any assumption of innocence until proven otherwise thrown out the window to further disparage a man unable to speak for himself. But as long it makes Ms Mackrell's point, then what's the harm?
Later in the piece we get to the real crux of the attack. Stretton wasn't thinking clearly, in fact he was probably insane by this point because;
".... when Stretton gave his interview in 2003 we have to wonder how clearly he was thinking and remembering. It's grim to have to point out that his death, in 2005, was caused by melanoma that had spread to his brain, so who knows how his behaviour or mental processes were affected in the period leading up to it."
That's right readers, nothing this man said made any sense because his terminal cancer had completely clouded his mind and he was, to all intents and purposes, just making everything up, or "misremembering" if we go back to our friend Mr Rove.
Ms Mackrell has no medical training, presumably, the MD missing from the end of her name provides a clue about that, and she cites no medical experts when coming to that conclusion.
What went on at the Royal Ballet six years ago will never be known. Mr Stretton is gone and the insiders in London's dance mafia have little or no reason to let the truth come out and anything they say is nothing more than conjecture, unless someone has video or audio recordings.
The most revealing thing about this entire issue is the response from the dance writers, who were called to question by Mr Stretton, and the Royal Ballet themselves.
Covent Garden declined to comment either now or in the future, skulking in their ivory tower plotting the next Kenneth McMillan revival. The writers, as illustrated by Ms Mackrell, can say as they please, safe in the knowledge that nobody really cares what they say. Their cloistered, self flagellating little world protected until the next person they don't like very much comes along and tries to spoil things!
One final note, the comments on Ms Mackrell's piece were closed from the outset, wonder why?
[ The Guardian ]
[ The Sydney Morning Herald ]
Panda Fines
Sunday, 8 June, 2008
You may remember a little while ago a short story regarding the Atlanta Ballet and a dancer in a Panda costume tumbling from the stage into the open, and empty, orchestra pit!
No? What do you mean you forgot about it? Anyway, it would appear that the hammer has fallen on said ballet company with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) fining the company $3,500 for failing miserably to protect their dancers from harm. Or words to that effect.
Atlanta Ballet, somewhat ridiculously, is stating that it will fight the decision because;
"The condition and safety of the environment in which our dancers perform has always been of paramount importance to Atlanta Ballet." said spokesman Jeff Al-Mashat.
Mr Al-Mashat goes on;
"We continually evaluate our safety measures, which are consistent with best practices for major dance companies throughout the country. We will be contesting the OSHA citation, while at the same time continuing to review our procedures to assure that the Atlanta Ballet is a leader in industry safety."
If Atlanta Ballet is a "leader" in industry safety we can only imagine the carnage going on in the companies that trail them in the league table of dance companies that may or may not let their dancers fall into really big holes!
Let's get one thing absolutely clear. If one of your dancers falls off the stage wearing a Panda costume they can barely see out of and seriously injures her back in the process then you most assuredly are not showing any concern whatsoever for their health and well being.
If you were, as a company, looking out for your dancers then the orchestra pit would have been closed and there would have been no gaping hole for the dancer to fall into. Gaping holes, dark stages, and vision restricted dancers are a sight-gag set-up worthy of the cheapest sitcom.
The only thing that is certain here is A: Atlanta Ballet are too cheap to have an orchestra, B: Atlanta Ballet's administration are too cheap to pay someone to close the orchestra pit and C: Atlanta Ballet are too cheap to employ a spokesperson that isn't an idiot!
As to the curious and artistically inept decision to have Panda Bears in the 'Nutcracker' in the first place? Only history will judge the Artistic Director and we fear that judgment will be harsh and unforgiving!
Harder Than It Used To Be
Wednesday, 4 June, 2008
The basic principals of subsidising art are, fundementally, to make that art happen when otherwise it would not and to make that art accessible to people whom otherwise could not access it for financial or other reasons.
Let us regale you then with the tale of the confusingly monikered "The Public" art gallery in West Bromwich, a particularly grim part of the UK also know as The Black Country.
Putting aside the fundamental problem that the building itself looks like a cardboard box where the holes for the windows have been cut out by a five year old, it is a perfect example of why so many people become livid at the very mention of the the word "subsidy".
The gallery was constructed using a huge amount of Lottery (or Lotto) funding, the total cost, when it was finished, was £52million (US$102million), about £20million over budget. Arts Council England (ACE) played a large part in handing over the money to make the whole thing possible.
Despite mounting problems and dispatching numerous people to see what was going wrong ACE continued to pump millions more into the project.
You would imagine then that this building is a gleaming edifice of all that is wonderful in the arts and the creative community as a whole! Not even a bit of it because "The Public" never actually opened.
The gallery went into liquidation before it was even finished, two years ago, and has remained closed ever since while people in suits and ties filled out forms, held meetings and tried to explain why a £52million pound tin box in one of the UK's most depressed areas didn't actually work.
Let's pause for just a moment because you have to give the people behind this catastrophe a muted round of applause since it takes a very special kind of incompetence to bankrupt a project before it's even started.
Now, in 2008, the building is set to finally open after being taken over by the local council (something which should immediately set alarm bells ringing), having spent further millions to prop up this hugely misguided project.
At least the thing is open though, so all the problems are solved, right?
Again, not so fast dear reader because this publicly financed, publicly funded art gallery/artists space/community centre is going to charge "the people" £7 (US$14) each just to go inside. If you come in, pay your money and go back outside again then you will have to pay to come back in. That money is not a membership fee, it's a ticket price!
As you can imagine, the great unwashed are not amused. Not only did it cost tens of millions to build, save and keep running you now have to hand over yet more money just to get in. This latest debacle should leave no doubt in your mind as to why people get so thoroughly irritated about public money being used to finance what is, on the face of it, gross stupidity!
It's hard enough defending subsidy of worthy projects executed by talented individuals
from the philistines and the right wing hacks. If ACE and the rest of the people involved with actually trying to do things for the arts could try a little harder not to make that job impossibly difficult then we would very much appreciate it.
The next time somebody, anybody, anywhere gets the idea into their head that a multi-million pound art gallery is going to cure the social deprivation woes of a local community please feel free to stick your head in a bucket of ice water before anybody hears you and takes your ideas seriously!
Should you wish to visit this "space" then feel free to find relevant information on their website, such as it is, apparently £52million doesn't buy you a decent website designer!
Pull The Other One!
Wednesday, 28 May, 2008
It's not at all clear what was going through the mind of the creative team behind Phoenix Dance Theatre's new show 'Cattle Call', if anything at all, but from our perspective, here in TheLab™, somebody, somewhere is making a very big mistake.
The main problem, although there are many with this show, is that it makes no sense. If it made some sense then at the very least that would something, but it doesn't.
From the staging and design we can at least determine that this work has something to with show business and auditions. 'Cattle Call' as a whole however has no idea what it actually is!
Is it a dance piece? Is it a musical? Is it a plane? No, it's a non stop conveyor belt of nothing at all. This work is the equivalent of a BMW 3 Series. It's just "15 feet of car", devoid of character, substance, grace or the faintest modicum of a point!
The music and sound effects are loud and obnoxious (a repeating gunshot being the main culprit) and the dancers are required to continuously move the set around throughout the entire show. Shifting chairs, doors, make-up tables and cages around is fine once but after the fifteenth time all your looking for is the exit.
As a musical it falls flat on its face because the songs, crafted by Richard Thomas who was partly responsible for 'Jerry Springer The Opera', are witless and forgettable. The choreography, such as it is, is more often than not hidden behind the overbearing set design so the poor audience can't actually see what's going on. Not that the dancers can move anyway because the bloody set is in the way!
Interspersed with the dance making are frequent bouts of faux violence, disturbingly aimed toward a pregnant woman. These sequences appear to be there to shock but they smack of little more than a desperate attempt to get some attention.
Adding insult to injury is the ridiculous curtain call procedure when this entire mess finally grinds to a halt. The dancers, obviously under instruction, are required to come out all together and then one at a time (a procedure that takes many minutes to complete) to receive the strained adulation of a distinctly unimpressed audience.
We don't normally go after an individual piece of work like this. If we don't like then OK, we move on and forget about it. But 'Cattle Call' signals a very strange and problematic shift in direction for one of the UK's best known dance companies.
The key phrase here is "dance company". Let us not take dance making down the route of dance film by making "what is a dance piece?" into an idiotic semantic argument. Phoenix don't have the resources to do musicals and 'Cattle Call' is nothing more than a cheap, a very cheap, musical.
It's not that dance companies cannot take on this type of dance theatre because Vincent Dance Theatre, with 'Punchdrunk", covered a similar theme with consummate ease.
We are reminded of Richard Alston's tenure at Rambert, many years ago, when he drove that well established company into a wall at very high speed and was sacked for his efforts. Javier de Frutos (Phoenix's current AD) should take care that he does not suffer the same fate.
Mercifully, Phoenix have numerous other works, actual pieces of choreography, touring alongside 'Cattle Call' which are worth watching.
This musical mess of fractured ideas and half baked social commentary should be cast back into the trash can it was so obviously pulled from.
Out Of The Box
Thursday, 15 May, 2008
Nobody who works in this business on a regular basis would deny that some dance makers can be (say it quietly) a little bit pretentious! Or hugely pretentious come to think of it. All too often they will spend more time waxing lyrical about their work than actually working on their work. (the language is tortured as hell but get on with it! Ed!)
Akram Khan is a dance maker we, here in TheLab™, have largely avoided for a long time because, to be honest, we were not big fans of his stuff. There was too much conversation and not enough action for our tastes. You could see the potential but his creations never bore fruit.
Having viewed 'bahok, his company's collaboration with the National Ballet of China, that view is changing however. Not only is the piece full of striking movement, outstanding music and a narrative thread you can actually follow, it's actually funny, on purpose!
After the work was over we were forced to ask this question of some random people on the streets; "What the hell took him so long?"
Of course, many folks out there in wacky world of dance would disagree with us but people disagree with us all the time and sheer volume alone doesn't make them any less wrong!
'bahok' feels like the kind of dance making we should have been seeing all along from Mr Khan but he was just a bit scared of making his work (again, say it quietly) accessible! That is, accessible to people who don't care to read 500 page books on "dance theory" or work for the British Council.
All this time we've had a progressive hiding in the shadows and one trip to China, of all places, brings him out into the light and the people cheered and cheered loudly. Mr Khan, with 'bahok', is proving that he can get regular people excited about dance and that's something the dance world needs to nurture.
Welcome to the fun table in the room Mr Khan!
There is a very small chance we will be able to bring you some video of 'bahok' in the near future, in case you haven't seen it. In the meantime hit the link below for a flash version on the IDFB festival website!
The Main Event
Saturday, 3 May, 2008
The question that has often been asked is; "can dance be the main event?" Meaning, is this much maligned art-form capable of catching the public's attention in the same way as feature films and rock concerts and can it do so on a large scale?
Often times the answer is; "no it can't!" Dance performances are often done on a small scale to small audiences for a very limited period of time. It's simply not physically possiible for a small group of dancers to play to huge live audiences. When dance makes it onto television it's usually a one hundred year old ballet created by a dance maker that has long since turned to dust.
Others may cite the success of televised dance "talent" contests which, as far as we are concerned, here in TheLab™, are nothing more than Z-list celebrity audition reels.
So what else is there?
This past Friday the balance shifted slightly with a performance of 'Watch This Space', part of DanceXchange's IDFB festival in Birmingham. The outdoor spectacular put together by Hofesh Shechter and Tamsin Fitzgerald of 2FaCeD Dance Company not only managed to draw huge crowds but did so with well crafted work performed by some of the best dancers in the business.
Watching the general public gather in large numbers on a chilly May evening with the ever present threat of rain to absorb the 30 minute show with its earsplitting, thumping music score, live drummers, contemporary dancers, parkour "building jumpers" and various pyrotechnics was a genuinely inspiring sight!
A sea of cell phones recording video and snapping digital images of the proceedings was a visual cue that the assembled masses were lapping it up, contemporary dance went "Rock Star" even if it was only for a few moments.
Not only did they gather but, judging from their reaction when it was all over, they loved the show into the bargain. All in all, not bad for an evenings work.
There's nothing wrong with small-scale, in fact this business needs it to survive and nurture the new progressives who may just have enough moxie to drag this profession out of the dark ages. However, it's nice to know that when required, the fresh creative blood in the industry actually broke down some real barriers and brought dance to those that may otherwise have walked on by.
Cheap tricks and hapless celebrities were not required, creative skill prevailed and the profession is better for it.
Eating All The Pies
Tuesday, 15 April, 2008
Some of you may well have noticed, and most you will not care one bit, that Arts Council England (ACE) has a new boss in the shape of Alan Davey their new Chief Executive.
When there's a change of leadership the hope is that things are going to be better than they were before. Considering the chaos ACE caused with their recent funding review it's hard to imagine things getting any worse.
So what are we to expect from Mr Davey? Well it turns out that he quite likes the arts which is a good sign if you're going to be running the organisation that provides them with the majority of their funding. He likes his art old, very old as it happens, but dead artists have made some good work so let's not despair just yet.
According to his interview in the "always friendly unless you're BAE" Guardian newspaper he's a big music fan, Justin Rutledge (that's a real person) in his favourite singer. Before becoming a paper shuffling ne'er-do-well for the Department of Culture Media and Sport he "researched Icelandic sagas for an MPhil [Master of Philosophy]". During that time he also learned to speak Icelandic and Danish (he also speaks Latin and Greek) for reasons past understanding.
Before taking up the post at ACE he was studying for a PhD in "Roman Masculinity". I swear on TheLabs™ cat's life that I'm not making this stuff up. One of his favourite things is Virgil's 'Aeniad', a very long poem written a very long time ago. Virgil himself is dead, very dead! His thoughts on the Potter books are, as yet, unknown!
We can gather from all of this nonsense that the man, to be sure, is an intellectual, a bit of a thinker. He loves his books, his languages and his music, so we're OK then? Right?
Not really. Because the intellectual stuff comes later in the interview. The revealing stuff comes earlier on with this particular comment;
"Next time we make funding decisions, we are going to have to make comparisons between different bodies. And when we come to disinvest it might not be from organisations that are inherently bad.It's just that we might see something more fruitful coming out of investment with an emergent organisation, and therefore might have to walk away from investment in something that might have had years of not doing badly, but isn't currently setting the world alight. We are going to have to work out how to handle those people who are perfectly, well, you can't say they are terrible, but they are not as good as younger companies."
Mr Davey slipped into the language of the bureaucrat all too easily. When was the last time a regular human being used the word "disinvest" when they really mean "we're screwing somebody over for no good reason based on shaky information and adminstrative bungling"?
He almost had us convinced with all that Latin and Virgil talk. If there is one thing that we know about career bureaucrats, much like career politicians, its that they spend much of their time looking for ways to do bad things to good people simply to justify their own position. That's why they use words like "disinvest", their connection to reality is tenuous at best.
His first act in the new job was to launch an enquiry into ACE's behaviour over the whole funding debacle they brought upon themselves. The details of this enquiry will be kept a secret, only the top sheet summary will be let out into the wild for all to see.
It's business as usual at ACE towers.
Magic Roundabout
Friday, 11 April, 2008
File this one under "don't we make fun of you enough already?" because Wayne McGregor has become the all new, the one and only, wait for it....... "Youth Dance Champion" (seriously, stop giggling at the back!)
That's right boys and girls; Just like Hercules, Perseus and Doogal from the Magic Roundabout the young folks of this fair land now have a champion to look upon with awe. A towering edifice, a colossus, a stout warrior with the heart of a lion, the fortitude of a thousand men and the intellect of a slightly confused physics professor.
It would appear that somebody, somewhere, in a fit of pique has determined that what we really need to save the youth of today is a "Youth Dance Champion". Admit it! You thought we were making this up?
Of course, the only organisation or individual stupid enough to come up with an idea like this has to be connected to the government and in this case it was the Culture Minister; Margaret Hodge. Exactly what Mr McGregor will be required to do as the YDC is not at all clear but if it involves putting on a any type of costume that includes a cape then we'll be in the front row to watch that!
Let's get one thing clear. Wayne McGregor is a nice guy, he's a smart guy and if you tell us you like his choreography then we'll believe you. However, if you're going to get somebody to be a champion of anything shouldn't you pick someone that wouldn't get flattened by a low speed collision with a feather duster?
There are lot of great dance makers out there doing a lot of great things with "young people" and they are every bit the inspiring creative types that the government is trying to prove it cares about. Exactly what impact having an "inspirer in chief" will have can probably be measured in millimetres, if it could be measured at all.
It's also slightly galling that every time the suits in London announce something like this they pretend they just invented dance education work.
Just in case you care; The whole point of this exercise was to put a well known name, relatively speaking, to the government's plan to spend £5.5Million on "dance opportunities" for embattled youngsters in the UK.
You can't help but wonder if Mr McGregor is sitting somewhere, sipping a glass of sparkling water, polishing his head and laughing his arse off! Youth Dance Champion! Stop giving people stupid titles and get on with doing something real, would you please!
Please Die Quietly!
Tuesday, 1 April, 2008
If life has ever been inexplicably cruel to you, God himself has forsaken your soul and you have run out of chocolate chip ice cream you may have found yourself watching a live snooker* match on television.
You will notice that the only thing more mind numbingly irritating than the game itself is the constant sound of people coughing and spluttering for no apparent reason. From the crescendo of phlegm hacking noise going on you get the impression that a particularly virulent strain of tuberculoses is laying waste to the population but instead of killing the afflicted, which might actually be helpful, it's just making them cough, almost constantly.
This wretched symphony of ill health is becoming ever more common in the theatre these days. Our collective, fuzzy memory here in TheLab™ remembers a time when you could attend a performance safe in the knowledge that the silent parts of a particular show would be just that, silent!
You can pretty much guarantee that when the music drops a little and a bit of dramatic tension is called for it will begin. It starts with one person, innocently clearing their throat of, what sounds like, a rusty bag of nails and that's your starter for ten. Like a wildfire in tissue factory it begins to spread as more and more perfectly healthy people try their damnedest to hack up one or both of their lungs.
It's not the disease the first person has that's infectious it's the coughing itself. The group cough is a disgusting form of "keep up with the Jones's" with retching noises and nasal mucus! (yikes! Ed!)
Let's be clear. If you're coughing like that because you can't help it then clearly you are sick, very sick so you have no business hanging around the general population making the rest of us sick and, more importantly, ruining the show. Stay at home or check yourself into a hospital because whatever you have, we don't want it and being doused in Dettol™ and bundled into the boot of a car is unpleasant at the best of times.
If you're coughing like that and there is nothing wrong with you then you're just sick in the head and you need to get out of the theatre because the rest of us are going to throw you under a bus.
We would urge all theatre goers to exhibit just a little bit of self control when you're in the company of others. If you think you might want to cough then buy a bottle of water and sip out of it for the duration of the show. Failing that, stick your head in a pillow, stop smoking or immediately refrain from doing whatever it is that's causing your permanent respiratory distress.
As for the sympathy coughing? We're listening and there are plenty of buses due!
*To our American friends. Snooker is a longer, more boring version of pool. It takes about four hours to play one "frame" and there are more rules than there are flavours of pasta sauce. Speaking is also frowned upon.
